i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He keeps bees of course he's weird
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
