I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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