i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
