I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she smelled like a LAN party
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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