he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I would fuck him just for his dog
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize