He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
