sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
