you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
