one might say we're banned from that church
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
