Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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