The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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