She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
