ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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