Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dick very happy bro
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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