Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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