I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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