You're so nebulous sometimes
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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