i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
