my room smells like sperm. sweet.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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