Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
