You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
