her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
