you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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