you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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