Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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