I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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