i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
