i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
