Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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