She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
