I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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