bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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