Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
