i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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