Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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