You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
