You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
