you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
