There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
