shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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