Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
