every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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