absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
