I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i need some magic done to my vagina
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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