Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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