Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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