So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
