He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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