made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
