Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
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BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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