I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
