What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
