i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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