So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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