is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
