??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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