i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
