I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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