dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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