Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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