He felt like a one man threesome
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
