i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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