i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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